When we collaborate on a project, we all have ideas, many of which will be dismissed. This can be damaging to self-esteem.
Many ideas are spontaneous, superficial or flippant but ideas which are developed and considered over time become personal. They come from personal experience, exploration, comparison, and recognition of consequences. All this knowledge supports or dismisses ideas. So when a really good idea comes along, a lot of investment comes with it.
To get children (and adults) to understand the significance of personally grown ideas I play this game:
- Have a bag of lemons from which each student chooses the lemon they like the look of and, holding it, they stand in a large circle facing the middle.
- They are asked to closely examine their lemon; to observe every tiny detail – each blemish, indentation, colours, patterns, shape and size. They also smell, gently squeeze and roll the lemon in their hands.
- They look for the most attractive feature of the lemon and memorise patterns, spots etc so they would recognise their lemon if they had to (planting a thought that they might lose it or have it stolen from them)
- This is a light hearted exercise but this next bit will need insistence that they comply and take it seriously or the game won’t work. You tell them to think carefully about how much they love their lemon and stress that the lemon belongs exclusively to them– that’s what makes it so special. What you want is the students’ commitment to their lemon, to LOVE their lemon; they will protect and nurture it, the lemon depends on its owner for survival. Threatening to take their lemon off them usually does the trick. Even if they haven’t committed to loving their lemon, if they can’t have it. Nobody will!
- When you feel that this is happening, ask the students to “show off” their lemon to the person next to them – their lemon is the best and what qualities of their lemon they are most proud of. They acknowledge that their lemon is worthy of their praise.
- Then you drop the killer blow. They must do it even though they won’t want to. They must roll their lemon into the middle of the circle. What usually happens; they follow their lemon closely with their eyes, they feel anxious, they gasp if their lemon hits another and they ricochet in another direction.
- Hold the tension for a little longer than feels uncomfortable and tell them they can retrieve their lemon if they can find it. The scramble for their lemon shows the success of this exercise. The relief when they retrieve it is like a parent finding a lost child. (maybe not so acute but the lemon is theirs, like a loved toy or pet.)
- Now what’s all this about? There is a discussion about how they felt, particularly at the point when they rolled it into the middle and when they found it again.
- Then exchange the lemon for their own really good idea. Ask how they would feel if somebody said their lemon was rubbish, their idea was rubbish.
Not everyone will fully understand the implications of the exercise and that is dependant on how committed they felt in the game. But most will agree that if you are sharing ideas, there needs to be a level of trust and that everyone should respect that a contributor of an idea may feel that dismissal of their idea is a personal rejection. If this is done in a brutal way, trust is lost and the contributor no longer wants to collaborate.
Sophie age 10 said, “The best thing to do is include the best bits of each idea so everyone feels their idea is valued.” We own our ideas and are ready to share them with others and let them grow. When they are acknowledged and included, we feel we are valued.
